Thursday, 20 July 2017

5 Ways in Which I Have Overcome Anxiety Lately

Hello you lovely lot! Once again it's been a few weeks since my last post but life with an internship/job/boyfriend/social life is busy AF let me tell you. I felt like having a little catch up  with you today and just rambling to my hearts content because who doesn't love a chatty post, right?? Living part time in London and interning for the past few months has honestly taught me so much, and amongst that I have overcome so many of my initial worries and anxieties that I thought it might be nice to share those with you and celebrate those tiny victories! Anxiety plays a huge part in my life and so many of the decisions I make so I feel super proud to be able to make small steps day-to-day to hopefully create a more positive and capable mindset for myself! So without further ado, here are 5 ways in which I have overcome my anxiety in the past few weeks: 

1. I actually answered the phone at my previous placement! Multiple times! I know this can seem like the most ridiculous and trivial achievement to some, but I know for many who can empathise with my struggles this is a huge deal. Since a really young age I have felt unbelievably uncomfortable speaking on the phone and only really do so when it's to super close friends or family. I have to admit when I first started at Marie Claire answering the phone was one of the tasks I dreaded every morning, but as I started to do it more and more and got used to what a typical response to queries might be, I became more confident in myself and my abilities to do it! Sometimes pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the only way to tackle an anxiety trigger and it can be truly such a difficult thing to do, but by the end of my time at MC I had grown in confidence so much!

2. I now get the tube, in rush hour, every day! There was a time in my life when I would put off or avoid going to London altogether simply because I was so terrified of using the underground, and on the occasions in which I did head down to the Big Smoke, I would most definitely not be travelling during rush hour. I get hugely claustrophobic when it comes to transport so the tube and planes have always been a no go (I hate the feeling of not being able to get off if I want to) so it's a massive step for me to be conquering this fear on a daily basis. The tube still intimates me slightly, particularly when I don't know where I'm going, but with CityMapper never too far away I know I'm going to be okay! Again this is another tiny achievement for some but one that has made a huge impact to my life and similarly to answering the phone has got easier and easier the more I have done it. Practice makes perfect ladies!

3. As well as my current placement at Temperley London, I have also been working part time at home waitressing at events around Cambridge. Now this isn't necessarily revolutionary just yet because I have only done 3 shifts, but at the same time trying new things and stepping into an unknown environment is always a huge anxiety trigger for me so I feel super proud to have managed it alongside my internship for the past few weeks. One aspect of the role I was most nervous about was that each week the events and functions that I work at are in different venues and with different staff meaning there would be no sense of routine or familiarity which was definitely a factor that put me off. Luckily for me the events I have worked as part of so far have also been shifts which friends of mine have been waitressing at too making the experience far less intimidating and actually a super lovely opportunity to catch up with them during breaks! Hopefully I will get to a stage in which I can work for the agency without needing the reassurance that I will see a familiar face there too but for now I'm super proud of myself for taking the steps to get a job alongside my internship!

4. I've started making YouTube videos (semi regularly) again which I'm SO pleased about! The main reason there was a bit of a gap in proceedings was because I simply didn't have enough time to commit to my channel whilst I was interning 5 days a week and travelling home for the weekends, but now that I'm only at Temperley Monday-Wednesday it makes things a tiny bit easier in terms of filming and blogging. As well as time management, I also just got myself into a bit of a tizz about the sort of content I wanted to produce and came over quite anxious about vlogging and if I was any good etc etc (typical Charlotte self doubt moment) which totally sucks. I'm such a perfectionist that I tend to overanalyse everything which of course is a terrible move anxiety wise and most of the time only makes me feel worse. Thankfully I think I'm ~mostly~ out of that rut when it comes to YouTube and have uploaded a couple of videos in the past fews weeks and have plans for more too! V exciting! 

5. And finally, perhaps my biggest and most exciting achievement of all lately, I WENT TO A FESTIVAL AND DIDN'T HAVE A PANIC ATTACK !!!! Festivals have always seemed so appealing to me, with everything from the music, to the food and fashion seeming so exciting and care-free but as any other anxiety sufferer will know, big crowds, an uncertain environment and being surrounded by drunk people is not necessarily something that I felt I could conquer. I've spent years seeing all my friends attend festivals together and getting ultimate FOMO as every summer rolled around, so when my dad asked if I would like to head to Latitude Festival for the day along with my sister as an early birthday present, I jumped at the chance to finally attend. Last Friday we headed down to Southwold, covered in glitter and totally festival ready and we honestly had the best day. I didn't have an anxious moment at all and spent the whole day feeling blissfully happy and care-free. The main achievement and amazingly happy moment for me though was seeing The 1975 headline the festival on the Friday evening which was a performance I know I will never forget. I've been a fan of the band for so many years now but on the one occasion I had tried to see them live previously it ended in tears and a panic attack as the whole situation felt a little too overwhelming and Scott and I ended up leaving less than half way through. Seeing The 1975 at Latitude was therefore made even more special and I honestly felt like I could have stayed there for hours and hours more because it was just so amazing and empowering. I now feel like I've got the festival bug and have been browsing line ups in the hope that I could maybe attend another this year, or if not, definitely next year. I never thought I would be able to stand in the middle of a crowd and not have a care in the world, so it was so freeing and amazing to do so. GO ME!

I would love to know if you've overcome any of your own anxieties lately so please tweet me or comment below and share them. It's felt so lovely to have mine written down and I know I'll come back to this post when I'm feeling down about myself or my achievements. We can all get there in the end <3 
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